Bear is now five years old. He has been bringing up the dreaded “Dad” word into conversations. Only a single parent, who is the only active parent, can relate to this feeling of dread. “Marcus’ dad came to pick him up…”, “Some kids have dads, I have a mom…”. It’s obviously hovering in his little brain quite often. I heard from other single (OAP) moms that this is the age that the question comes up.
As Bear was playing with his firemen Lego men, he came up to me as I was fiddling with my Iphone on the couch, watching American Idol.
“Mom, if I had a dad I’d want him to be a fireman.” A knot twisted in my throat . I couldn’t ignore it this time.
” You have a father, he just lives far away.”
“Where does he live?” he asked non chalantly.
“In Palm Springs.” I replied just as non-chalantly.
“Were you married?” he asked.
“No, he was my boyfriend, but we haven’t seen eachother in a long, long time.”
The words that spilled from my mouth were a reminder of how this whole situation has been messy and complicated, and I couldn’t deny it after that question.
He then replied with “Do you have more kids?”. (huh?) I told him that I did not. He then asked if Wranglers could be his dad, but he would have to be a fireman. Then he went off an played some more.
I stared at his little face, checking to see if he was in deep thought. I stared at him again a couple of moments later…still nothin.
So, I’ll wait for the next round and try to prepare myself for more answers, that won’t hurt, to hard questions that come from complete innocence.