When I was little, Dad would buy the Mother’s Day card to give to my mom, from my sister and I. We’d sign our names and maybe draw something and he’d hand it over. So, on Mother’s Day I don’t get disappointed when I don’t get that card. Afterall, he’s five. I mean six. God, I can’t remember anything anymore!

Maybe I want that pat on the back on Mother’s Day. So, to all of you single parents who don’t have the “dad” or “mom” to buy that card from your little ones, I honor YOU (I’ll down a Mimosa for ya too). What we do, we do with honor and courage and love. It’s a bit more challenging doing this alone, but there ARE the positives. Many of them. So, I deflect anyone’s “sympathy” that I’m parenting alone.

My goal this year is to let those that want to pat my head and give me a bigger tip is to silently bless them too and their struggles while they are parenting as a couple. That presents challenges that can be more overwhelming than what I may be dealing with.

Another goal of mine is to see the glass half full. So, one of the many great things I get this year on Mother’s Day, minus the card, is that I call the shots. I get so say where we go to Mother’s Day brunch for starters!

To all of you single parents, and the O.A.P.’s, I wish you a wonderful Mother’s Day! Another year to look ahead and empower ourselves as mothers, and as women.

Calling single moms!

I was just contacted by a CBS casting associate . They are casting a new documentary about single parents and looking for single moms ages 25-40 (counts me out!) for a new show that documents their journey to finding love. The producers have created award winning shows like “Top Chef”, “Project Greenlight”, “Project Runway” and the Justin Bieber documentary.

She says “The series is unique because it’s kind-spirited, NON-competitive, and cooperative. There are no roses or promises of a fairy tale ending where you get proposed to and ride off into the sunset with your future husband. Rather, it’s a documentary style show following 3 single, successful, and selective women on their journey to find true love. ”

Contact me by message if you are interested or contact someone who would fit.

Share this message on your wall and spread the word

My father practicing with my son at the sports complex...

I have this to say- Drop the guilt!

It just dawned on me I sent my son to school without having him brush his teeth. Yup, that’s gross, but on the bright side – I DID remember his backpack today.

As a single parent and the O.A.P. (Only Active Parent), extra curricular activities seem overwhelming at times. I have enough  on my “To Do” list, much less remembering to get my kid to brush his teeth. Who needs teeth anyhow?

A simple bath for our kids can become an optional part of the evening, should we get home late for work, with homework, meals to cook and laundry to do. It’s hard to fathom working in sports activities, dance lessons and music lessons.

That doesn’t mean your child can’t do what other kids are doing. Enlist the help of other single parents to help you get your child to and from activities.  Help each other and take turns.

Remember that the choices you make should benefit both child and parent. If you are killing yourself to get your kid to and fro to activities and, in the process, you are becoming a crazy person – nobody wins.

Ask yourself these questions when you are conflicted about the time and money required with the intention of keeping up with two parent households:

1. Why am I enrolling my child/children in this activity? If he/she has no interest in it, you may be wasting your time. Find something your child excels at naturally and seek out activities that will broaden their knowledge and growth.  Don’t choose something because everyone else is doing it.
2. How much time will it take away from one on one time at home? Spending TIME with your child can broaden your child’s awareness of the world around them. Give him/her a menu of activities (that they choose and create) and once a week they get to pick something off of the menu to do with you.
3. How much time or money will it take to get my child/children to and from activities?
   Will you have to take time off work? If possible, enlist the help of trustworthy parents and single parents to get your child to and from the activity. Is it way out of your budget? If you ask around, there are alternatives out there.

Are we not “giving” our child the leverage needed to succeed in life if they don’t get to participate in EVERYTHING as the child of a single parent? I have this to say – Don’t overcompensate for being a one parent family. When we overcompensate we can do more damage than good. One extra curricular activity is enough per child.

Now, go out and get a massage or a mani/pedi or something.

Do you consider yourself independent? Did your last relationship end badly? Why do you want to date again, if at all?

Dating as a single parent is TRICKY and can be messy.

I’ve got one question for you
and you can only pick ONE answer,
so use your what comes first to your mind:

Guest Post By Tracy Adler

Every April 22nd, when Earth Day rolls around once again, we see the public renew its interest in protecting the environment and finding practical solutions for sustainability. There are benefit concerts, clean-up days, and eco-rallies; all dedicated to spreading the word on ways everyone can help preserve our planet’s natural resources. However, one way we can all help is right there in front of us, every day. It’s the food we choose to eat, and how we choose to eat it.

Here are five simple, “foodie” ways that you can help make a difference for the earth:

1) Go organic. Yes, it’s more expensive sometimes. But pesticides and industrialized growing methods take a toll on our planet, our community, and even our own health. It’s a good use of your money, and well worth the investment. And the more Americans that demand organic food – as most people in Europe now do – the more competitive the pricing will become.

2) Support local food. This ties into going organic quite nicely, and often makes it more fiscally viable for those with tight budgets. Find the farmer’s markets in your area and make the trip there a weekly, or even family, event. Another great movement gaining steam is CSA’s (Community Supported Agriculture). With this, you make an initial deposit, and then you get weekly or monthly delivery or pick-up of fresh veggies and fruits from a local farm all through growing season (typically 6-8 months of the year). In most situations, you will save money, and be eating like a king! And if you don’t have those options available in your community, at least take a second look at the labels on your food at the supermarket before you make your choices. For example, try not buy apples from Washington if you live in New York. It took precious fossil fuel for them to get there, and the local ones are probably also fresher. Going local is a win-win.

3) Package your own. One of the worst things about packaged food is just that – the package! Our landfills and recycling centers are incredibly overburdened, and when we grab a “snack-size” bag of chips because it’s “easier” we are doing the earth a bit of a disservice, and also often spending more money in the process. So when you know you have a family outing ahead, buy the larger package and divvy it up into snack-sizes for the kids. And it doesn’t have to go into environmentally questionable plastic bags either. Eco-conscious companies such as Yum Yum Dishes are now selling snack-size, reusable, earth-friendly ceramic containers with lids. Less trash = better.

4) Eat seasonally. We all get those occasional cravings for out-of-season food, and with most supermarkets offering tropically sourced produce year-round, it’s easy to forget foods even have a season. But again, we’re using a lot of precious energy to transport those more exotic choices. It doesn’t have to be “all or nothing”, but next fall, think about making a pumpkin pie instead of a strawberry cobbler. It just makes more sense.

5) Choose vegetarian… at least one day a week. There are tons of fabulous and delicious vegetarian meal choices out there, so make a commitment to trying one out even just once a week. Besides being a healthy idea, even one meat-less meal a week can and will make a difference to the planet. Eating meat is a personal decision, but the environmental effects of industrial ranching as it exists now are well-documented, and as we find better solutions, a once-a-week “bye” on meat helps the situation immensely.

Of course, you probably noticed that the benefit to all of these ideas isn’t just on a global level. You are also helping your community, your family, and yourself by eating fresher and healthier, consuming more sustainably, and supporting local business. And long after Earth Day has passed us by, try to keep in mind that the environmental choices you’re making at the supermarket are way more than just “paper or plastic”. Responsibly choosing what you eat, and how you eat it, is a key decision in working towards a better planet for everyone.

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About the Author: A strong advocate in the fight against childhood obesity, Tracy Adler is a former restaurant owner and mother of two. She created Yum Yum Dishes™ to help parents teach their children about correct portion sizes. For more information, visit www.YumYumDishes.com.

An arm strewn across my face and a foot shoved in my bladder was the average night in bed. I was about to lose my freaking mind after 6 years. In the beginning, co-sleeping was the only way I ever got to sleep. It was all about survival! Then co-sleeping, or the end of it, was all about MY survival (and my bladder’s).

My son slept in my bed until last month. He’s in Kindergarten. Now, you just keep your waving finger to yourself! You don’t know my circumstances, or maybe you do by now. But I enjoyed it up until a few months ago, when his legs got longer and my body got bigger. That’s another story…

Yes, I enjoyed the snuggling, the smell of his fresh skin next to me and knowing that he was safe with me. Besides, I co-slept with BOTH of my parents ’til I was ready to venture into my world alone, with my more-than vivid imagination, something my son also inherited.

The crib was never used. It looked great until I donated it. Then, I bought him a toddler bed, he would start out in his bed, and then he would end up back in mine.  Standing next to my bed in the wee hours, I would be awakened every night. “Mommy, I’m scared. Can I sleep wif you?”. Sorry, I was gonna get some of that well-deserved sleep. “Climb on in baby”, I would groan.

After getting kicked one too many times in the middle of the night, I knew that some well earned independence and getting him to sleep in his room would be good for him AND mom. I was ready for the task.

He wanted a hamster. I didn’t want him to have a hamster. Time for animals was something I didn’t want to make. We have an old dog named Jade, and she’s enough, or so I thought, until I considered the possibility of a peaceful nights sleep.

Scene two, I’m in Petsmart with not one but TWO hamsters – yes TWO. The deal was, the hamsters stayed in his room, as long as HE stayed in his room all night long. After a few times of going back in with him to sleep until he fell back asleep, it’s all good!  He is now on his own in his room.

To be frank, I wasn’t sure I liked him out of my room at first. I missed him. I reconsidered. But he was incredibly proud of his new accomplishment and it has since led to more independence.

He now has me “drop him off” at Kindergarten. He gets out of the car at the drop off point and walks himself to class. I walked him into class EVERY day up until Tuesday of this week. I watched him from afar, bouncing down the halls. How sad it was for mom. I cried when I drove off. I’m so proud of his new found “Big Boy”ness”. Yet, I hold on to my baby. Like all moms, he will ALWAYS be my precious baby, plus two hamsters.

Bear started rolling his eyes and jerking his head again this morning. I viewed him from the drivers mirror as he read a book on the ride to school. I want this to be over with. I was hoping it would just stop and go away.

I cancelled my appointments today and came home to lie down all by myself. I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to sleep the day away. Instead, I watched some marathon of an HGTV show. It was a good distraction I guess.

Tomorrow he has a Dr. appointment. His doctor is out on vacation ’til mid March, so we will be seeing someone else in his office. I’m going to ask for a referral to a local children’s hospital to a neurologist.

I keep asking myself if this could have been prevented. I just want my kid to be ok. Is it Tourette’s? Is it a seizure? Is it from hitting his head? Is it from me taking Zoloft? Is it because he’s stressed out? I just don’t know. I want answers.

I took him into his Kindergarten class this morning. He still wants me to walk him in every morning. His desk as moved and another classmate came up to me and said “desk got moved cause he was talking.” Bear got agitated and said “No, it wasn’t!” I’m sure it was, but maybe he was nervous about me finding out about that today. Who knows…Tomorrow I hope to get something to go on.

I get to tell my mom tonight. I’m dreading it.

Bear is out checking and feeding cattle with my boyfriend tonight. When they get here I have to get my game face back on. Til then, I’m gonna escape my own and watch someone else’s reality on television. I might even bawl a bit.

My pregnancy was spent worrying. I went through it single, as some of you know and as some of you have. It was quite stressful because of my circumstances.

I’ll admit it- I smoked during my pregnancy. I took Zoloft. I couldn’t stop smoking, though I tried. I rationalized it with the idea had I not smoked at all, I would have been a wreck and that wouldn’t be good for my baby. The smoking did calm my nerves. There is a photo I have of my mother pregnant with me in the 1960′s with an ashtray balanced on her belly. She smoked away, as many women did, before smoking became a social taboo and we discovered how unhealthy it really is.

I make an extra effort not to over mother him -Let him get his knocks and bumps without momma hovering and coddling. He had hit his head while playing on Monday and again while sliding in the snow. He didn’t cry and I brushed it off, since he didn’t seem to mind too much.

My son is 6 years old now. I took him to the E.R. today. He began rolling his eyes to the right side and jerking his head.  He never had symptoms of a concussion, but the new eye rolling maneuver was disconcerting. I thought maybe he was nervous about something. It started happening more than I wanted.

He was getting fitted for a tux for my nieces wedding in April. I was videotaping him with my Iphone. His eyes rolled and his arms shrugged. He did it AGAIN and I got it on video. I replayed it this morning. Texted it to my sister. It was too much. We loaded him up in the car and headed to the Emergency Room.

The doctor on call, who specialized in Neurology, told me it was not caused by a concussion and asked me if anyone in my family had Tourette’s Syndrome. What the hell? Then she explained that it plainly appeared as a “Simple Tic”.  It seems that it hits children around his age and that should it get worse, he can see a neurologist for further treatment.

One website mentioned that the tic ” may be more likely to occur in children whose mothers smoked, drank alcohol, drank caffeine, or suffered extreme stress during pregnancy. Children with low birth weights may also be more likely to develop tics and Tourette’s syndrome.”. Great. I always thought that since he was born healthy, that I got off easy. God gave me a free pass. I guess that wasn’t true. Could I have prevented this? Did I do this to my precious baby?

Remember moms and single pregnant women – try your best to have a stress-free pregnancy. The price you pay may not just be your own. Don’t make your kid pay for it too. Do something for yourself – whatever that may be, to give yourself some peace during your pregnancy.

I’ll pray again tonight, that my son’s “SIMPLE” motor tic, goes away very soon. Thank you all for listening…

Here’s the deal-When dating as a single mom, the absolutely positively toughest thing, (besides getting your kid to like the man you’re dating) is allowing him to have some say in discipline. This comes down the road of course, but it never seems to get any easier – but after some intense counseling, I realize that this is a necessity. I need to let go of all the control if I want to have a man in my life, dagnabbit.

Wranglers and I broke up earlier in the year, and it’s been up and down. Right now we’re on an upswing, but last night I would have said we were on the decline. Sometimes these up and downs go all day long, it almost always has to do with my kid, and it’s exhausting. But, like exercise, it’s worth it. I know he has my son’s best interests at heart and truly loves and cares for him. I also know that I want a man in my son’s life. He deserves it, and maybe I am motivated in part from guilt. The single mom guilt that I somehow deprived him from a father and he didn’t have a choice. Now THAT’s another post…

I thought this was a great video. The daily life of a single mom in U.K. Check it Out! You’re gonna relate.