|
In
a room full of people this
strange woman had something to say to everyone but
me. The lack of eye contact sent alarms off in my head
that she had a secret. A
comment was made by someone that my boyfriend had mentioned
the woman would make a good model. "Hmmm...", I asked myself " What's going on here?".
When I confronted him later that evening, he blamed
my paranoia on the glass of wine I had - but his behavior
was out of character. He was working out more at the
gym, concerned more about his aging face and greying,
thinning hair. I thought it was just some mid-life
thing. He had just turned 40. Then I discovered the
emails, the text messages. He'd hide his cell phone.
I first learned that my partner
of five years was having an affair . I had to figure
it all out on my own. The man, who I thought was the
love of my life, plainly wasn't. The next
morning I packed my bags. Through the tears and confusion,
I quit my job, jumped in my car and headed 4 hours north
for mom's house. So much was going through my mind - "Why
did he do this? What did I do to make him do this? Why
her? What am i going to do now?". I felt betrayed and
wounded. The LAST thing on my mind was that I could possibly
be pregnant.
When spending the night at a
girlfriend's house, after my flee from the fallout,
a little voice inside me led me down that unfamiliar
aisle of pregnancy tests at the local drugstore.
Reluctantly, I took it, knowing I was wasting my money
and time. I
began shaking when the test turned positive. A feeling
of joy ran through my body, and an uncontrolled smile
washed over my face. Then fear set in. " Why should I
be happy?" I asked myself. "I'm alone now and this is
crazy!" I took the other two tests in the box the
following day - same result. I bought it on sale.
It had to be expired or bad.
I broke the news to my ex. He
wasn't thrilled to say the least. He didn't want
a child.He had a new girlfriend and wanted a new life.
I was on my own.
My girlfriends and family were wonderful. I'm surrounded
by this incredible circle of supportive souls. I know
things are going to be ok now.
My life is forever changed -in
more ways than I could have ever imagined. I'm ready
for the new path my life has taken. Yes, it's
been difficult being a single parent, but it's alsoone
of the most rewarding things in life.
|
